The complete person has the upper hand. I spoke before on how I think it’s a very dangerous practice to live life in search of your other half. You must be a complete person: completely accomplished, completely intelligent, completely talented, completely at peace, and completely in love with…
!!!!!. If you ask yourself would you want to be with you and the answer is no for whatever reason then let’s work on self first! I can’t agree more. YOU HAVE TO BE WHOLE. Stop looking for another person to complete you. stop with this missing rib, half my heart, one of my eyes and an index finger stuff!
agreed, however, theres a danger in telling people “only when you finally feel great and perfect are you worthy to have love in your life”. some of us have more issues than others. and some issues cant be helped. but those people still deserve love.
note this kind of stuff is only told to women “you are not worthy, wait til you are to be w someone”.
and its also based on the erred corporate-speak/pop psych shit that somehow we are all supposed to be self-sufficient and if anyone ever feels they need others, they are “defective”, when in reality we cannot subsist without each other. human contact, love, all that stuff, everything we do, wear, say, go…has everything to do with other people.
as women of color, especially, our burdens tend to be greater. we will falter. we will NEED help. and we are still deserving of love and support, even when we are downtrodden, you know?
there has to be balance to these notions, basically, or else we risk falling into the harmful extremes that society tends to tout as the norm.
agreed. I should have added that we are all works in progress. Nobody ever just stops becoming. The hugest point for me is the At Peace with oneself bit… For all the flaws, complications that we are made of we can learn and absorb from others, but for me it’s when you start expecting that when x person comes into your life that they will fill you up and solve all your issues… issues that you may not have even have begun to address yourself … Alot of us have that expectation not realizing that longing and desire are different from desperation. We are all deserving of love, I agree. Balance, yes!
I guess for me I’m just always in the falling in love vs. standing in love mode.
Ok rambling now…